


Solace(in his arms)

by insane_is_my_middle_name



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Constructive Criticism Welcome, Cuddles, Established Relationship, Fluff, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, My First Work in This Fandom, Please be nice, Raphael is a softie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-04-09
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:13:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23555107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/insane_is_my_middle_name/pseuds/insane_is_my_middle_name
Summary: Simon never expected this.Being a vampire, he really should have seen this coming. But he hadn’t. Simon knew, at some point, that he would have to kill someone. Or, more accurately, something. Raphael had told him that it would happen eventually; that it was inevitable. That, however, had not prepared him for this.
Relationships: Simon Lewis/Raphael Santiago
Comments: 7
Kudos: 88





	Solace(in his arms)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there friends! This is my very first work in this fandom, so Raph and Simon might be a little OOC.
> 
> I worked so very hard on this and I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> -Arrow

Simon never expected this.

Being a vampire, he really should have seen this coming. But he hadn’t. Simon knew, at some point, that he would have to kill someone. Or, more accurately, something. Raphael had told him that it would happen eventually; that it was inevitable. That, however, had not prepared him for this. 

He had been walking home(he isn’t sure when Hotel Dumort became home to him, he just knows that it is)when suddenly a hissing, newly turned vampire had come barreling into his side from a shadowed alleyway. Before he could do anything, the fledgling he could now see was male had pinned him up against a nearby wall. Being a fledgling, he had been stronger than Simon, faster too, so there wasn’t much he could do but try and hold him back for as long as he could. Simon had tried reasoning with him, told him that he was from the New York Vampire Clan and that he could help him, but the fledgling, overwhelmed with his hunger and the mantra in his head repeating feedbloodfeedblood- on a loop, naturally, had only responded by snapping more forcefully at Simon. 

Panicked, Simon had felt around with the hand not restaining the fledgling for anything that could be of use. Fortunately, there had been a thin steel rod lying just a bit to his right. Using all the supernatural strength he could muster, Simon wrapped his left hand around the newly turned Vampire’s neck and swiftly pushed him into the wall Simon had been pinned up against mere seconds ago. Knowing he couldn’t hold him there long, Simon had grasped the thin metal object firmly in his right hand. He lifted it up and didn’t even think twice before shoving it into the fledglings chest and straight through his unbeating heart. 

The fledglings eyes had flown open and a garbled sound of pain had ripped itself out of his throat before he had disintegrated to nothing but ash before Simon could even register what had happened. 

In a stupor, he had dropped the rod as if it had burned him and sped away from the scene using Vampire speed, right through Hotel Dumorts doors, not stopping until he reached his room. He closed the door, chest heaving with unnecessary breaths. Walked over to the bed, still in somewhat of a daze, and fell face forward onto his lush mattrass. Burying his face into an overly soft and fluffy pillow, he takes deep, shaky breaths. 

Just as he gets his unnecessary breathing under control, the full weight of what he just did comes crashing into him like a freight train with no breaks. He killed that fledgling! He himself remembers what it was like, clawing out of a grave that the Earth is soon to forget even existed, feeling that overbearing hunger that never seems to be satisfied. The fear when you realize that your lungs aren’t screaming for air and your heart isn’t thrumming wildly in your ears. He remembers, being reminded every night when he wakes to the sound of his own screams and the phantom taste of dirt and blood in his mouth, only soothed by Raphael’s soft Spanish words whispered into his ears.   
He chokes on a sob and tries to fight back tears at the mere thought of that fledgling, who couldn’t have been over twenty-five, not having anyone to soothe away the nightmares with gentle Spanish and a soft caress. 

He fails at keeping back the tears. 

A whimper claws its way out of his throat before he can stop it and bloody tears leak from his closed eyes, staining the pillow he still has his face buried in. 

Simon continues to weep for what feels like hours until suddenly there is a knock on his door. Sniffling, he sits up and tries to no avail to stop the crimson tears flowing freely down his cheeks.

“What?” He asks, hoping his voice comes out stronger than he feels.

“It’s me, fledgling.” Comes a slightly muffled reply. 

Oh. It’s just Raphael.

“Come in,” Simon says.

The door creaks open and Raphael saunters in, immaculate as always, he’s dressed in pressed black slacks, a black button-up, and a simple black jacket with a blood-red tie.

Immediately noticing Simon’s distress, he darts over to the side of the bed Simon is on and is at his side in the blink of an eye.

“What is wrong, baby?” His expression is one of concern and all Simon wants to do is collapse in his arms and pretend that everything is okay. 

Another sob wracks his body and he manages to get his story out in a few garbled words.

“I- there was a fledgling- an-and I killed h-him!”

Raphael’s expression melts into one of surprise, then into one of understanding. He shifts so that one of his knees are on the edge of the mattress and he uses that as leverage to pull himself up onto the bed, scooping Simon up into his arms as he goes. Settling with Simon pulled tightly to his chest, he gently rubs circles into his back and mutters sweet nothings in Spanish he can’t understand into his ear. Eventually, his sobs slow to dry heaving and hiccups, his tears drying up and leaving pink tear stains on his faintly flushed cheeks. Raphael is still rubbing his back, but he stopped talking a little bit ago. 

“Now, tell me what happened. Do not leave anything out,” he orders, and somehow that relaxes him further and he sinks into Raphael’s chest. He can’t help but do as was asked of him, so he tells his clan leader the whole story, not leaving out any details. He finishes with a deep sigh, his dead heart clenched tightly in his chest.

“Carino, it is not your fault. You may have killed him, yes, but you are not at fault for his death, nor is he. The true person at blame is his Sire, who had not been kind enough to wait for the fledgling to rise from his grave.” He says it sternly, leaving no room for argument. 

Simon wouldn’t dare argue anyways. 

“I just didn’t expect it to happen so soon, is all. I mean, I also don’t like the fact that that fledgling is, you know, dead, but it mostly just took me by surprise.” Simon mutters awkwardly, trying to get his point across but knowing if he had succeeded. Judging by the little understanding hum Raphael makes, he had.

“Ok, mi amor, we will talk about more in the evening. For now, sleep.” Raphael says as he sinks down against the pillows and pulls the covers up over them. 

Sighing, Simon snuggles deeper into Raphael’s side and buries his face is the crook of his neck, breathing the scent of his cologne and expensive soaps. 

He knows that tomorrow he will have to deal with this. Will have to find ways to cope, because he knows this will eventually happen again, living in such a dangerous world. But he also knows that when it all gets too much, he can always find solace in Raphael’s arms. 

So for now, he lets dreariness consume him and he drifts off, knowing that whatever comes tomorrow, he can face it with his lover by his side.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you liked it :)
> 
> If you did, drop me some Kudos and leave a comment, it would delight me to see what you guys think!
> 
> If you want, you can come rant with me about idiot vampires at my Tumblr: Simonisraphaelsbaby
> 
> Ciao friends  
> -Arrow


End file.
